Too Many England Flags In Your Area? Here’s A Solution
There have always been a fair few England flags dangling from the houses of English folk, but things have really exploded as of late. The referendum and the footy has given local flag merchants a substantial financial injection.
I’m not normally one for inciting vandalism, but I recently came up with an ingenious way of dealing with this issue.
Before we get started, just to be clear: I have nothing against people who are “proud to be English.” I just think it’s a bit pointless. It’s like being proud of your blood group.
And, like every other country on this odd planet of ours, there are good people and there are bad people… and some that are a bit of both. England has done some good things, but, it has also done some terrible things. England has produced some great music, and, it has produced vast swathes of vacuous and repulsive music.
Being English does mean that you’re less likely to starve to death or be killed in tribal warfare, but, it also means that you’re more likely to wear sandals and socks and enjoy pickled eggs.
When it comes to sticking England flags everywhere, that’s also fine, but again, I don’t really understand the point. I mean, we all know which country we’re in, even I’m not that drunk.
So, if you’re a bit sick of all the St George’s crosses draped everywhere and want to do something about it, read on:
1) Find your chosen flag
2) Get a red marker pen, or some red paint (paint would be best)
3) Make a small cross in each of the four white squares on the flag
4) RESULT: it’s no longer the English flag, it’s now the flag of Georgia
5) Take a photo
6) Run away
7) Send me the photo immediately – @timboynewtron
DISCLAIMER: If you get beaten up, it’s nothing to do with me, and it was probably worth it.
