Cornish Cross Dresser Tries To Get Pasty Shop Ban Lifted
One of the things that I like best about running this website and writing for Sick Chirpse is that every so often, someone I haven’t seen for years sends me a link to a weird story and writes something like “this one’s for you”. I get a warm feeling in my belly. Last night, a fella whose face I haven’t seen in the flesh for about a decade sent me a link to this story in the Plymouth Herald.
It turns out that the Plymouth Herald is a frikkin’ goldmine of ridiculosity. So you may well see a bit more from the Plymouth region on these mucky pages over the next few weeks.
The top three reviews for their Facebook page go like this (LOL):
Brilliant. Any way so the story here is that artist Mike Howells who lives in Torpoint, just west of Plymouth, got banned from a pasty shop for two years. It just so happens that Mike is a cross dresser, I live in Brighton so that’s neither here nor there really, but it does add a certain bizarre angle to the proceedings.
Mike had used the same pasty shop for years, all be it intermittently, when one day the owner just went mad and banned him from entering the shop for two long years. Mike said: “I was shocked. It came out of the blue. He just said ‘you’re banned’ and that was it, I was flabbergasted… I’d like to be allowed back in, I’m still willing to spend my money there.”
What caused the ban? Well, according to the shop owner, Richard Rice, Mike’s personal hygiene wasn’t up to scratch. Rice had this to say on the matter: “He was banned because he was stinking, his personal hygiene was such that he was leaving a very foul smell in my shop for half an hour after he had been in… I think he has got a few issues which he needs to sort out, but he was never a regular customer of mine.”
After a bout of paranoia regarding his aroma, Mike has decided that the shop owner was probably just not keen on his dress sense. Mike hadn’t had any other complaints about kicking up a stench from anyone at his art club in the library.
Mike used to be a boxer and play darts. He’s been married 40 years to his wife Diana and cites the following reason for taking up lady’s clothes “I started wearing dresses about six years ago. Nobody noticed Elton John’s music until he started dressing up so I thought I’d try the same thing.”
Maybe this mystery will never be solved, but I sincerely hope that Mike manages to get a new source of pasties soon.
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