Marvellous Maggie

On April 17, 2013 by Con Mucho Gusto

The past week since the death of Lady Thatcher (or is it Baroness Thatcher? Darth Thatcher maybe?) have been of a bit of an education to me. You see, I’m of the generation that grew up listening to the Jam, the Specials, Billy Bragg etc and somehow they influenced me to think she was a heartless old witch who destroyed industries, communities and lives.

Well, it turns out those nasty lefties had misled me and in fact, she was bloody marvellous! For a start, David Cameron said she saved this country. He was in Downing Street when he said it, so “this country” must have meant the UK. He was a bit vague about what she saved us from. The unions? The French? Zombie donkeys? Who knows? But he talks posh and he had a tie on, so I think we can trust him.

Then, her biographer was on Question Time last week. I think his name was Charles. He looked like a Charles. He was even posher than Cam, so obviously I hung on his every word. Anyway, turns out she also bought about the downfall of communism. Not sure how. I think she just went and had a little chat with Gorbachev and basically put him on the right track. Couple of years later, the Berlin Wall was rubble. Good old Thatch!

Posh Charlie also revealed she did more than anyone else to end apartheid. Apparently, all that calling Nelson Mandela a terrorist and failing to support sanctions against the oppressive white government in South Africa was just to throw everyone off the scent. Really, old Nelse loved her to bits and she was actually helping him in some vague manner. Let’s not worry too much about the details, eh?

I’m sure if Charles (or was it Julian?) hadn’t been interrupted by David Dimbleby (bloody communist!), he would have gone on to reveal that Live Aid was all Maggie’s idea. I’m going to do a bit of research because I need to confirm my suspicions that she invented the Rubik’s Cube, wrote every episode of Only Fools and Horses, produced the video for Thriller and invented the flux capacitor.